20. Scary

What’s the scariest thing about Stillwater, you ask? Is it the overwhelming number of pumpkins at the Pumpkin Jubilee at the Methodist Church? Is it trying to turn at a crosswalk on campus on Halloween? Is it this front yard?

No, no, and nope.

The scariest thing about Stillwater so far is...the spiders. Yeah, that’s right. The creepy, crawly little guys that bite you at night under the covers. The giant wolf spiders whose webs mysteriously disappear overnight, then reappear in approximately the same spot the next day. The daddy-long-legs that cling to the soffit over the back door, that silently congregate when it rains. They. Are. Everywhere. In the shower, on the window, in my car. It’s enough to drive you crazy, screaming into the night. If I had a picture of one, I couldn't bear posting it, knowing I would see it every time I came across this blog post.

This weekend I was watching my son in two consecutive soccer games on two consecutive fabulously sunny fall days. I felt a little itchy, but blamed it on the heat of the sun. One of the kids sitting next to me started scratching too, then his friend jumped up and exclaimed, “dude! You’ve got spiders on you!!” And out of nowhere, with not a tree or bush or high weeds in sight, I looked up and gasped. A web was being spun above my head. I could see the silvery threads dancing in the breeze. I could barely concentrate on the game for swatting and scratching and shaking out my camping chair. I looked down at the ground, and they were everywhere. I tried not to shriek. When I looked around me, no one else seemed to be bothered. I stood up and kept a watchful eye the rest of the game. Was it just me? Was I seeing things that weren’t there? Or were there spiders all the time, and these people had already gone ‘round the bend from seeing them?

Maybe that was the reason for the sign. “WE’RE ALL MAD HERE.”

This, folks, this is the stuff nightmares are made of.

Happy Halloween.