15. Plus and Minus

Every place has its pluses and minuses, and Stillwater is no different. For all my expectations of minuses, I have to say, I’ve been pleasantly surprised so far. And so, my lists, randomly observed and in no particular order:

1. Plus:  people are freakishly friendly. Within about two days of arriving I had met our neighbor across the street (who is, conveniently, also our UPS driver and introduced himself while delivering my first of many Amazon orders), our elderly next-door neighbor, the daughter of our elderly back-to-back neighbor, and a couple who lives down the street who bought our treadmill on Facebook Marketplace (we had a good laugh at that one!). I have neighbors on our street in Champaign whom I haven’t met in 14 years of living there.

2. Minus:  brutal thunderstorms with frequent power outages.

3. Plus:  see #2. Who doesn’t like the thrill of a good thunderstorm?

4. Minus:  street maintenance. Urbana can’t hold a candle. My car is starting to creak like a an old rocking chair.

5. Plus:  please don’t tell them, but the good folks of Stillwater are more socialist than they realize. All the utilities, including garbage removal and recycling, electricity, gas, sewer, and water are all run by the city of Stillwater. And they’re cheap! Our entire bill for the month for all of these utilities combined was around $150, and that while running the A/C nonstop. I’m happy to pay taxes for this kind of service. Just sayin’.

6. Plus:  and speaking of recycling, they have a drop-off recycling center in addition to curbside pickup for larger items, items in bulk (like our moving boxes and paper), wood, electronics, yard waste, etc. 

7. Minus:  excruciatingly long traffic lights.

8. Minus:  no cute street lights.

9. Plus:  our neighborhood, about five minutes from downtown, has very little light pollution at night, so dog walks are also for stargazing. And we can hear the frogs from our pond. Charming.

10. Minus:  see #1. On one hand, I find it warm and welcoming that people are so friendly and always smiling, I must confess that I also find it a bit unsettling. Not Stepford Wives-level unsettling, but just...uncomfortable. Like I always have the subconscious assumption that it must be fake, or that they must want something from me. Although the midwest is friendly, we’re not that friendly.

11. Plus:  Braum’s ice cream. Black walnut must be a popular flavor around here as I’ve seen it in several places, and I’m thrilled.

12. Minus:  Braum’s ice cream. For obvious reasons.

13. Plus:  advantages of a smaller town include getting in to see your doctor the same day or the next day, being referred to and getting an appointment with a physical therapist the same day, having a direct phone number to your actual doctor, and absolutely no waiting at Walgreens.

14. Minus:  disappointing farmers’ market. Nine tables, mostly melons and zucchini. No tomatoes. Very few bakery items. No tomatoes??? How can it be August with no tomatoes?? I can only assume that the soil here is not appropriate for growing them, but grocery store tomatoes are not doing it for me. The melons were good, though, so maybe I’ll give it half a plus.

15. Plus:  Sprouts. At least there’s a decent grocery store where you can get bulk items and organic produce that’s not Walmart.

16. Minus:  every other grocery store in town that isn’t the Sprouts is a Walmart. 

17. Minus:  blue laws. I find them ridiculous. And, related:  why do we always run out of beer on Sunday? It’s not like we have wild and crazy Saturday nights, or like we can’t live without a beer on Sunday, but it’s just the idea of not being able to buy beer on Sunday, for crying out loud. Or cold beer, for that matter. Oklahomans are excited that at least that will change soon, the law has been updated to allow cold beer and wine to be sold. Small victories, I guess.

I guess you could say I’m getting used to the culture here. In my master’s degree program, we had a required class on culture, with topics ranging from cross-cultural communication and sociolinguistics to the sources and stages of culture shock. Generally, we slowly move from 1. Enthusiasm about the new place (called the “honeymoon phase”) to 2. Frustration about things we don’t understand or want to accept, to 3. Adjustment—where we start to accept the differences and adjust our expectations, to 4. Integration, where we feel completely at ease in the new culture. Sometimes I feel like I’ve rushed through all four stages in a few hours, that life is easy and comfortable here, like I’ve lived here forever. And sometimes I’m stuck on #2, feeling frustrated and homesick, or feeling as if I’m just here temporarily but will return to my “real” home soon. And sometimes I’m at #1, enjoying exploring all the new and different things this area has to offer. In the meantime, I’ve realized that culture shock hits most in the little things, the things you don’t expect will be different. Like how I put the garbage container up on the curb, while everyone else sets it down on the street. It isn’t always the big things that make us feel like outsiders, but in the way we park our cars or the words we use to greet strangers or simply where and how we walk.

This morning I rolled my garbage can out to the pavement where it sits in a row with all the other garbage cans along our street. I can learn. I can change. I can adjust.